Jinxes and Kisses
by DharmaMotorPool
Summary: Set 20 years after the Battle of Hogwarts. Haymitch and Effie are Hogwarts professors who have a tendency to hex one another in the hallways. What neither of them wants to admit is how perfectly suited they are for each other.


"Anteoculatia," Professor Haymitch Abernathy whispered, slyly pointing his wand across the hallway at Professor Effie Trinket, whose hair immediately transformed into the shape of a pair of antlers. Haymitch snickered, as did the students Effie had been talking to.

As soon as she realized what had happened, she whipped around to face the culprit, already knowing who she would see. "Haymitch!" she shouted, whipping out her wand to undo the jinx. Haymitch was already attempting to scamper away, but Effie was quick. "Colloshoo!" she called out, causing him to stop in place, his shoes stuck fast to the floor. She caught up and stood in front of him, a scowl on her face. "Do you have any idea how positively _un_professional you are?" she demanded, hands on her hips.

"Do you have any idea how positively up_tight_ you are?" he shot back. "Unstick me, would ya?"

"Not until you apologize," she insisted.

"I'm _sorry_," he began, and she undid the spell as planned, "That you're such a stick-in-the-mud," he added.

Effie narrowed her eyes. "Perhaps I wouldn't have to be if you learned to act your age. You're supposed to be the head of Gryffindor house, and you're setting a _horrible_ example for these students!"

"Calm down, princess, you're the one shouting in the middle of the hallway," he reminded her.

She immediately clammed up. "Come with me," she demanded in a whisper, eager to get away from the gaggle of students who were staring at them.

"Why would I do that? I'm having fun right here," he said with a smirk.

"Have it your way, then. Expelliarmus. Mobilicorpus," she said, flicking her wand at him twice. She grabbed his wand, and he was lifted a few inches off the ground, and made to follow her down the hallway.

"Hey!" he shouted.

"Your fault for letting your guard down. Perhaps if you paid more attention to things—"

"I wasn't expecting you to _violate_ me!" he argued.

"This is _hardly_ a violation, Haymitch. If I wanted to violate you, I'd have used, say, _levicorpus_ instead."

"Don't you dare, woman!"

Effie chuckled and let him down, then handed back his wand. "Don't worry, I'm the _professional_ one, here."

"Yeah, yeah. Now what did we have to come over here for?"

"So that our students don't witness me out-jinxing you," she told him smugly. "It was a courtesy move."

"_You_, out-jinx _me_?" he asked incredulously. "That's laughable, Trinket!"

"Well, it just _happened_, so—"

"You're ridiculous. That corset of yours is cutting off the circulation to your brain."

"Would you just remember for one minute that you're _supposed_ to be a leader around here? Those students look up to you, and you can't just—"

"Blah, blah, blah," he interrupted. "I set a fine example. I teach 'em how not to get killed by the Dark Arts, don't I?"

Effie rolled her eyes. "You are the head of the house founded by Godric Gryffindor, and jinxing fellow professors in the hallway is no way to live up to—"

"Would you just _relax_, already?" he broke in. "I don't think Helga Hufflepuff envisioned someone so uptight taking over her house, Miss Charms professor, but here you are."

"You are insufferable," Effie said, shaking her head.

"Oi, professors!" Hugo Weasley called out to them. He was accompanied by Albus Potter and a few other students.

"Yes, Weasley?" Haymitch asked, turning his attention toward the students, who seemed oddly amused by something.

"You've got to follow the rules," Hugo told them, pointing upward. "Goes for teachers as well as students."

"What the—" Haymitch and Effie followed his finger with their eyes, straight up to the mistletoe hovering above their heads. "Oh, no," Haymitch objected, shaking his head. "Sorry, Weasley, teachers are exempt."

"_No one_ is exempt," Hugo argued. "Go on, then, give her a kiss."

"Yeah, kiss her!" Albus agreed.

"Kiss her!" the other students chanted.

A blush rose to Effie's cheeks. "This is not very professional," she murmured.

"They won't let up," Haymitch said.

"Are you suggesting we actually—"

Before she could finish her sentence, Haymitch answered the question by capturing her lips with his own. He wrapped his arms around her waist and her arms snaked around his neck. The kiss was soft and gentle, but it sparked a feeling that neither of them had been expecting. When they pulled away, their students had all fallen silent.

"Well, Happy Christmas, professors!" Hugo said, running off.

"Yes, Happy Christmas!" Albus repeated, chasing after his friend; the rest of the crowd dispersed behind them.

Effie cleared her throat and pulled back from his embrace. "Well, I—I'm certainly glad _that's_ over," she said, though it didn't sound much like an honest statement.

"Right, me too," he fibbed. "Although—well, it wasn't the _worst_ thing."

"No, not the worst," she agreed.

"You know, you're still standing underneath it, Trinket," he told her.

"Am I?" she asked innocently.

"A bit."

"What are the rules concerning that?"

"I think it means that I'll have to find new ways to tease and torment you," he said, moving in closer.

Her breath hitched. "Oh?"

"I can start by helping you loosen that corset," he said in a low voice that sent a shiver up her spine.

"Haymitch, not _here_; how inappropriate!" she chastised in a worried whisper.

"Princess, you're gonna need to stop worrying so much about every little thing and trust me a little."

"What exactly does that entail?"

"Just this," he said, bringing her back to him and kissing her again, more passionately, now that they no longer had an audience. They remained linked together by their lips for a few long, sweet minutes before parting again.

"Well," she said softly, struggling to find words. "I think—that was—"

"Magical?" he asked with a grin.

"Magical," she agreed.


End file.
